Weekly Shocks' Blog



First Puggle, Now Penis? WHAT IS THIS BLOG COMING TO?!?!

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a little on the weird side and I subsequently attract and enjoy all kinds of weird stuff, but, honestly, this is is getting to be a bit much even for me.

Some of you may notice that I moderate comments here on good ole Weekly Shocks. It’s nothing personal, I promise, it’s just that certain family members of mine occasionally read this blog  (hi Mom!) and certain friends of mine (you bastards know who you are) like to take advantage of that fact and write things that I’d rather my pure-as-the-driven-snow loved ones not see. Gotta keep up appearances and all that. Besides that, though, the oodles of junk mail that I seem to collect in my seventeen hundred email accounts have somehow migrated to the comments section of this blog. I am quickly and inexplicably becoming a repository for Viagra, Cialis, VigRX, and other naughty devices designed to improve your happy areas.

In all sincerity and with all due respect, what the hell?! I can deal with the odd and charming puggle-seekers. I can smile wryly over the occasional bizarre and mildly disturbing internet searches that land people here (latest favorites: “waste dump,” “fart protector,” and “why catholics [are] going to hell.”) I can and do adore the witty and charming comments posted here by the bright and engaging masses (keep ’em coming, folks!). But seriously: what about this blog suggests that the author requires manhood treatment?! Am I coming across as that insecure, that needy, that male?! Bugger it all to hell, people! I am very happy with my completely normal-size-for-my-situation penis. In fact, if it were any bigger, I may run into some very real trouble in my personal  life (heh heh…shuffles nervously…coughs…). I’d also have to field many awkward questions from my primary health care provider and would most likely end up being referenced extensively in the New England Journal of Medicine. Then, I’d have to fulfill my inevitable destiny, and join a circus! But I’m not ready for that yet! None of these options really fits into my busy procrastination schedule right now, so, please, move on! Back off, penis people! SO NOT INTERESTED!

OK, deep breaths.

Anyway, let’s keep the weirdness of this blog a bit on the wholesome side, shall we? For example, wanna guess what I’ve been hooked on lately? Old episodes of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego! And how amazing was that theme song?! Now there’s an obsession I think we can all enjoy before getting the song irretrievably stuck in our heads, going mental, and swinging from the rooftops in Scooby-Doo underoos and pickaxes!

If you just can’t get behind the Carmen Sandiego craze (you soulless prole), please remember the following simple guidelines. This is ok:

puggle-4

This, not so much:

viagraswitch

Choose wisely.

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Comments

  1. * Joe Raygor says:

    Oh wow, I LOVE “Carmen Sandiego”! It was one of my all-time favorite shows growing up and I credit it for giving me my lifelong love of geography!

    And the theme song? One of the best. It’s one of those themes you don’t actually mind if it sticks in your head all day.

    DO IT ROCKAPELLA!

    Posted 8 years, 8 months ago


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